URSTRONG is proud to have worked with thousands of neurodiverse students
in schools around the world. 

Neurodiversity, a term coined in 1998 by an Australian sociologist, is about recognizing and supporting the many unique ways that children learn. According to Harvard Medical School, “Neurodiversity is often used in the context of autism spectrum disorder (ASD), as well as other neurological or developmental conditions such as ADHD or learning disabilities.” In URSTRONG Schools, educators aim to create inclusive classrooms that accept and celebrate these neurological differences.

When it comes to neurodivergent learners, friendships can sometimes feel challenging. They might feel misunderstood or find it hard to connect with their peers. In some cases, they might misread social cues and body language or struggle with their own non-verbal communication. Conflict can feel particularly difficult, especially when big emotions (like anger) are involved. For kids who find it tricky to navigate the ups and downs of friendship, school can feel very frustrating, overwhelming, and exhausting.

The good news is: Friendship is a skill that can be taught. Our URSTRONG Schools see positive outcomes for neurodivergent students who learn our Friendology friendship skills curriculum and whole-school friendship strategy.

For some neurodivergent children, the social world can feel unpredictable. Friendships don’t always come with clear rules – and that uncertainty can be unsettling, especially for children who thrive on structure, routine, and predictability. That’s where Friendology comes in.

We often describe Friendology as a playbook for friendship. Just like in sports, a playbook doesn’t take away creativity – it provides structure. It helps kids know what to do in different situations.

Without a playbook, children are often left guessing:
What do I do if someone excludes me?
What if a friend says something rude?
How do I make friends with the New Kid?

And when kids are guessing, we tend to see two things happen: some jump in and make up their own rules, while others feel unsure and pull back from friendships altogether.

Friendology changes that. Through our “language of friendship,” we give students clear, simple strategies – like how to handle Friendship Fires, respond to Mean-on-Purpose behaviour, and Talk-it-Out. It creates a shared system that helps friendships feel more understandable, predictable, and manageable – especially for neurodivergent learners.

A few key elements of URSTRONG that supports neurodivergent learners include:

  • Our Progressive Learning Model: 

Spanning Early Years to teens, our Friendology friendship skills curriculum is a suite of 5 distinct curriculums that are designed for progressive learning – building on skills year-after-year. With continuity across the year levels among core concepts, the context, scenarios, and teaching style change to meet the needs of each developmental stage. Students deepen their understanding of the concepts and friendship skills through differentiated instruction, applying developmentally-appropriate higher-order thinking skills. Educators provide scaffolding through questions, role-plays, and activities, meeting children where they are at in the social development.

As detailed in the Friendology Facilitator’s Guide, our RTI (Response to Intervention) model explains the importance of providing a framework for all learners in a school. This allows URSTRONG Schools to better identify those children who need deeper interventions. A ‘friendship framework’ is the starting point before educators can explore the nuances within a child’s social skills, which is particularly necessary for neurodivergent learners.

  • Explicit, step-by-step instruction: 

Friendology guides students through 8 sequenced lessons (using videos and slideshows) designed to meet specific learning outcomes. As described in the Palgrave Handbook of Positive Education, “The strength of an explicit approach is that it provides a consistency of content, thus, allowing teachers to follow a uniform lesson sequence and ensuring all students are taught the same key lessons (Waters, L. 2021).” Every skill is taught step-by-step with kid-friendly language and terms to make it easier for neurodivergent and exceptional learners to understand, particularly those who struggle with executive functioning.

For some neurodivergent children, the world can feel very “black and white,” often showing up as a preference for rules, structure, and predictability. Friendships, however, can be fluid and nuanced.

While Friendology is not a rigid, rule-based system, it provides a clear “blueprint” for friendship through explicit concepts, skills, and strategies. Our Friendship Facts and step-by-step approaches offer students a structure they can follow – almost like a “code” or playbook for understanding how friendship works and what to do when different situations arise. This clarity helps students make sense of social interactions in a way that feels more accessible and manageable.

  • Whole-school approach:

Research shows that whole-school approaches are the most effective. Creating a common ‘language of friendship’ between school and home is a hallmark of a URSTRONG School. Parents get acess to hundreds of resources to support their children at home in a consitent way. In addition, every teacher is trained in using the same language and strategies, creating consistency for neurodivergent learners. This shared language also allows for small group and individualized instruction for students who require more focused support that clicks with how they learn.

Many neurodivergent students thrive with routine, consistency, and predictable expectations. By establishing a whole-school “language of friendship,” we create shared norms, common expectations, and consistent responses across classrooms, playgrounds, and homes. Importantly, Friendology is not about asking neurodivergent students to adapt to a neurotypical way of navigating friendships. Instead, we create a common system – grounded in best practice and designed with clarity – that works for all students. This inclusive approach supports neurodivergent learners while simultaneously strengthening the social understanding and empathy of their neurotypical peers.

  • Visual tools & easy-to-understand language:

Given friendships sometimes require sophisticated social skills (e.g. negotiation, perspective-taking, conflict-resolution), URSTRONG uses visual tools and kid-friendly terms that are intuitive for children. The Friend-o-Meter, for example, allows learners an easy way to identify how they (and others) are feeling in their friendships.

  • Role-playing scenarios:

To support skill development, scenarios are woven throughout the annual scope & sequence, designed for weekly friendship lessons. Students learn how to put out their Friendship Fires and work their way around the Friend-o-Cycle. They practise how to Talk-it-Out with real-life scenarios, how to make friends, how to have a conversation, how to include others and ask a friend to play. Early learners practise their friendship skills with teddy bears and toys, helping them learn through play.

As noted by our Director, Tyson Greenwood, “Explicit instruction and role-playing provide a scaffold so neurodivergent learners can prepare for the tricky moments. This also lowers anxiety by walking them through scenarios, aligned with a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) approach.”

  • Direct Skill Development for Social Understanding:

Some elements of Friendology directly support the development of social understanding for neurodivergent learners. For example, through concepts like Friendship Fact #2: Every Friendship is Different, we explicitly teach respect, acceptance, and the value of differences.

Friendology also helps break down many of the “unwritten rules” of friendship. Students learn what emotions can look like, how to interpret body language, and how to respond in a variety of social situations.

Through practical “how-to” strategies—like Ask & Pass, Be an Includer, and Talk-it-Out—students are given tools they can apply with confidence and clarity.

  • Strengths-based focus underpinned by Positive Psychology:

Through wellbeing themes such as Diversity and Respect, we help children understand and honour differences. Our core concepts create a strong foundation for connection and belonging.

In our first session, Inner Ninja, students learn strategies to strengthen emotional regulation, self-awareness, and emotional literacy. Our URSTRONG Schools also incorporate activities based on the VIA Institute’s 24 Character Strengths, helping children recognize and build on their unique strengths.

Westmount Charter School in Calgary, Canada have been a URSTRONG School for nearly 10 years. They specialize in working with neurodiverse children, often with multiple exceptionalities, and have found our Friendology friendship skills curriculum supports the unique social needs of their students.   

With teachers and parents all supporting children with a common ‘language of friendship’, our URSTRONG Schools create a safe and inclusive environment for neurodiverse learners (and all students) to effectively develop strong social and emotional skills. 

Written by: Dana Kerford
Founder & Friendship Expert