Can I ask you a question? When things aren’t going well in your friendships, have you ever felt like you just can’t concentrate on anything else and nothing seems right in your world? Well, that is actually kind of normal because when you are having a Friendship Fire®, until you’ve confronted the issue, talked it out, and worked through the stages of the Friend-o-cycle to get your friendship healthy again, you might feel pretty out of sorts!
I’ll let you in on a little something that I know… no matter how big or small they are, Friendship Fires® never feel good! This is because our friendships really matter to us and when things are out of whack in our friendships we can really start to feel worried and panicky.
Sometimes, we are feeling so bad that things feel a little out of control, and our worries and bad feelings start to feel much bigger than they actually are. This can get in the way of our ability to put out a Friendship Fire®. If we allow our worries to build and grow, our tricky messy feelings can take over and blow our Friendship Fires® way out of proportion. We might start to imagine that our Friendship Fires® are much bigger and harder to fix than they really are.
Thinking this way is called catastrophizing and it can be really unhelpful and keeps us stuck. This is why it’s sooooo important to keep our Friendship Fires® in perspective and ask ourselves, “How big is this Friendship Fire really??”
It takes a little practice, however, you can get good at practicing realistic thinking which will help you to manage your Friendship Fires® more effectively. Keeping things in proportion helps us take a deep breath, keep a clear mind, and problem solve like a Ninja!