Sorting Friendship Fires®

Activity Glossary

Glossary of Terms

At URSTRONG, we believe it’s important to use kids’ language for kids’ problems. That’s why we have our very own, unique language of friendship. Here are some important terms that children, parents, and teachers learn in our program.

Friendship Fire®: Any situation between you and a friend that results in negative feelings.

Mean-on-Purpose: When someone is intentionally unkind to someone else.

Quick Comeback: A very short word or phrase that is used when someone is Mean-on-Purpose. Quick Comebacks are designed to let the other person know that you heard/saw what they did and you’re not okay with it.

Friend-o-meter: A visual tool that assesses the health of friendships, ranging from the healthy zone to the unhealthy zone.

Friend-o-cycle: The normal cycle in a friendship that brings the friendship back to the healthy zone after experiencing a Friendship Fire. The phases of the Friend-o-cycle are: Healthy Friendship – Fire – Confront the issue – Talk-it-Out – Forgive & Forget – Closer & Stronger – Healthy Friendship…

4 Friendship Facts: A set of four facts that help us have realistic expectations in our friendships so we understand what is normal.

  1. No friendship (relationship) is perfect.
  2. Every friendship is different.
  3. Trust & Respect are the two most important qualities of a friendship.
  4. Friendships change…and that’s okay.

Red Shirt Girl and Striped Shirt Boy: Two characters that remind us about the importance of body language.

Friendship Ninja: A Friendship Ninja is someone who surrounds themselves with friends in the healthy zone of the Friend-o-meter. A Friendship Ninja is kind and friendly to everyone. A Friendship Ninja understands the 4 Friendship Facts and puts out their Friendship Fires when they ignite. A Friendship Ninja stands up for themselves and their friends. A Friendship Ninja makes new friends and understands that friendships change…and that’s okay. Above all else, a Friendship Ninja is someone you want to be friends with because they’re true to who they are!

Objective

Can I ask you a question? When things aren’t going well in your friendships, have you ever felt like you just can’t concentrate on anything else and nothing seems right in your world? Well, that is actually kind of normal because when you are having a Friendship Fire®, until you’ve confronted the issue, talked it out, and worked through the stages of the Friend-o-cycle to get your friendship healthy again, you might feel pretty out of sorts!

I’ll let you in on a little something that I know… no matter how big or small they are, Friendship Fires® never feel good! This is because our friendships really matter to us and when things are out of whack in our friendships we can really start to feel worried and panicky.

Sometimes, we are feeling so bad that things feel a little out of control, and our worries and bad feelings start to feel much bigger than they actually are. This can get in the way of our ability to put out a Friendship Fire®. If we allow our worries to build and grow, our tricky messy feelings can take over and blow our Friendship Fires® way out of proportion. We might start to imagine that our Friendship Fires® are much bigger and harder to fix than they really are.

Thinking this way is called catastrophizing and it can be really unhelpful and keeps us stuck. This is why it’s sooooo important to keep our Friendship Fires® in perspective and ask ourselves, “How big is this Friendship Fire really??”

It takes a little practice, however, you can get good at practicing realistic thinking which will help you to manage your Friendship Fires® more effectively. Keeping things in proportion helps us take a deep breath, keep a clear mind, and problem solve like a Ninja!

Key Outcome

We all have friendship fires® that sometimes make us feel upset and worried. The good news is that you can deal with them more effectively by keeping them in perspective!

 

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