Must-Haves, Deal-Breakers, & Ice-Cream!

Activity Glossary

Glossary of Terms

At URSTRONG, we believe it’s important to use kids’ language for kids’ problems. That’s why we have our very own, unique language of friendship. Here are some important terms that children, parents, and teachers learn in our program.

Friendship Fire®: Any situation between you and a friend that results in negative feelings.

Mean-on-Purpose: When someone is intentionally unkind to someone else.

Quick Comeback: A very short word or phrase that is used when someone is Mean-on-Purpose. Quick Comebacks are designed to let the other person know that you heard/saw what they did and you’re not okay with it.

Friend-o-meter: A visual tool that assesses the health of friendships, ranging from the healthy zone to the unhealthy zone.

Friend-o-cycle: The normal cycle in a friendship that brings the friendship back to the healthy zone after experiencing a Friendship Fire. The phases of the Friend-o-cycle are: Healthy Friendship – Fire – Confront the issue – Talk-it-Out – Forgive & Forget – Closer & Stronger – Healthy Friendship…

4 Friendship Facts: A set of four facts that help us have realistic expectations in our friendships so we understand what is normal.

  1. No friendship (relationship) is perfect.
  2. Every friendship is different.
  3. Trust & Respect are the two most important qualities of a friendship.
  4. Friendships change…and that’s okay.

Red Shirt Girl and Striped Shirt Boy: Two characters that remind us about the importance of body language.

Friendship Ninja: A Friendship Ninja is someone who surrounds themselves with friends in the healthy zone of the Friend-o-meter. A Friendship Ninja is kind and friendly to everyone. A Friendship Ninja understands the 4 Friendship Facts and puts out their Friendship Fires when they ignite. A Friendship Ninja stands up for themselves and their friends. A Friendship Ninja makes new friends and understands that friendships change…and that’s okay. Above all else, a Friendship Ninja is someone you want to be friends with because they’re true to who they are!

What’s most important in a friendship? Where do you draw the line? What’s your favorite ice-cream? #Priorities

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What is a “friend”? How does someone earn that super awesome title in your life and how do you make that friendship last?

Kids are oh-so guilty of not always thinking about what they really need and look for in a friend. They also don’t think about where they draw the line. Yeah, you probably have some really great friends and maybe even some not-so-great friends. Before doing anything else, it’s very important that you get a handle on what you value in a friendship.

Key Outcome

Your child will strengthen their social boundaries by reflecting on what matters most in their friendships!




Did you know there was a 75-year study conducted that determined the number one contributor to a person’s happiness was the quality of the relationships in that person’s life!? Isn’t that amazing!? Let’s help you identify what a ‘quality relationship’ looks like.

  1. Working with your parent, use the Qualities of a Friendship activity sheet and list as many qualities as you can for a healthy friendship and an unhealthy friendship.
  2. Once your lists are complete, look at the qualities of a healthy friendship. Ask yourself, “Which qualities could I not live without?” Put a star beside those ones. These are your Must-Haves in friendship.
  3. Look at the qualities of an unhealthy friendship. Ask yourself, “Which qualities could I never get over?” These are your Deal-Breakers in friendship.

Parents, have a chat with your child about the importance of spending the most time with friendships in the healthy zone of the Friend-o-meter. Do you have Must-Haves on your list that your child didn’t put on their list? It’s important to remember that we’re all different and we value different things in our friendships.

When you’re all done, it’s time to celebrate over some ice-cream! (You’re welcome.)

Next Steps

Think about how our Must-Haves and Deal-Breakers change. Can you think about a Must-Have you have now that you didn’t have last year? Share with your parent.