Free

Break-up Line Bootcamp

Activity Glossary

Glossary of Terms

At URSTRONG, we believe it’s important to use kids’ language for kids’ problems. That’s why we have our very own, unique language of friendship. Here are some important terms that children, parents, and teachers learn in our program.

Friendship Fire®: Any situation between you and a friend that results in negative feelings.

Mean-on-Purpose: When someone is intentionally unkind to someone else.

Quick Comeback: A very short word or phrase that is used when someone is Mean-on-Purpose. Quick Comebacks are designed to let the other person know that you heard/saw what they did and you’re not okay with it.

Friend-o-meter: A visual tool that assesses the health of friendships, ranging from the healthy zone to the unhealthy zone.

Friend-o-cycle: The normal cycle in a friendship that brings the friendship back to the healthy zone after experiencing a Friendship Fire. The phases of the Friend-o-cycle are: Healthy Friendship – Fire – Confront the issue – Talk-it-Out – Forgive & Forget – Closer & Stronger – Healthy Friendship…

4 Friendship Facts: A set of four facts that help us have realistic expectations in our friendships so we understand what is normal.

  1. No friendship (relationship) is perfect.
  2. Every friendship is different.
  3. Trust & Respect are the two most important qualities of a friendship.
  4. Friendships change…and that’s okay.

Red Shirt Girl and Striped Shirt Boy: Two characters that remind us about the importance of body language.

Friendship Ninja: A Friendship Ninja is someone who surrounds themselves with friends in the healthy zone of the Friend-o-meter. A Friendship Ninja is kind and friendly to everyone. A Friendship Ninja understands the 4 Friendship Facts and puts out their Friendship Fires when they ignite. A Friendship Ninja stands up for themselves and their friends. A Friendship Ninja makes new friends and understands that friendships change…and that’s okay. Above all else, a Friendship Ninja is someone you want to be friends with because they’re true to who they are!

Heartbreaks and break-ups…and we’re not talking romantic relationships here. Let’s help your child ‘push pause’ on that unhealthy friendship.  

To access this resource, you must purchase Parent Membership.

Objective

Remember the Friend-o-meter? It helps us assess the health of our friendships. Some friendships are in the healthy zone – they’re good for us and they feel awesome. And unfortunately, other friendships are the opposite. They feel bad, drag us down, and are sometimes painful. Those friendships are in the unhealthy zone of the Friend-o-meter.

It’s so important to understand that friendships and relationships are a choice. You’ve gotta get picky about how you spend your time and ensure you’re setting the bar high for yourself and making choices that are good for you. If you’ve got an unhealthy friendship on your hands, then we need to make a change…because you deserve better than that!

The plan: As much as you probably wish the friendship would work (maybe you were best friends before), it’s time to acknowledge this friendship isn’t working. If you have tried to put out your Friendship Fires® and done everything to make it better, but it’s still in the unhealthy zone…then it’s clear: It’s time to break-up with what you WANT the friendship to be and ACCEPT that this friendship isn’t good for you.

You’ve got to let go of the dream…for now.  (Don’t worry, you don’t have to cut this friend out of your life entirely or forever. You simply need to create some space between the two of you. Less time with someone is a magical thing!)

Side note: You may get the #BreakupBlues when you see your friend in the halls laughing away with other friends. Be ready for it and have a plan!

Key Outcome

Your child will learn how to ‘push pause’ on an unhealthy friendship to strengthen their personal boundaries and self-respect.

 

Materials

  • A plain piece of paper
  • Your fave writing utensil

Instructions

The time has come… You need to tell your friend you need some space! I know the thought of this makes you pukey (eww!), but with a bit of practice you will find the ‘right’ thing to say that feels good.

  1. Read through the examples below and craft your own Break-up Line. Remember, it’s not mean, but it’s honest and tells it like it is. Your Break-up Line could be all sorts of things, so try to figure out what feels right for you.
  2. Write your Break-up Line down on your piece of paper.
  3. Now, it’s time to do some acting! This will feel really weird, but I want you to practice with your parent. Consider this Break-up Line Bootcamp! (“Drop and give me 10!” – just kidding!)
  4. Parents, try to respond in any way you think their friend might respond so that your child can be prepared for a variety of scenarios.

Break-up Line examples:

  • “I notice we’ve been having a lot of Friendship Fires® and we can’t seem to put them out. I think we should try spending less time together and see how that feels.”
  • “I think we need to spend less time together because this friendship doesn’t seem to be working anymore.”
  • “Our friendship has changed and it doesn’t feel as good as it used to – for either of us. Let’s take 2 weeks off and maybe things will feel better?”
  • “That Friendship Fire® we had is still burning for me! I think I need some space and then we can try to put the Fire® out once I’ve cooled off a bit.”
  • “I really value our friendship and I want it to be in the healthy zone of the Friend-o-meter like it used to be. Since it’s in the unhealthy zone, we both deserve better. Let’s push pause on our friendship for a bit!”
  • “See ya on the flip-side, sucka!” (JUST KIDDING!! DO NOT SAY THAT!)

Next Steps

Come up with a list of things you can do to overcome the #BreakupBlues. When you’re missing your friend or you’re feeling jealous, pull out your list and focus on what makes you happy!