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Glossary of Terms

At URSTRONG, we believe it’s important to use kids’ language for kids’ problems. That’s why we have our very own, unique language of friendship. Here are some important terms that children, parents, and teachers learn in our program.

Friendship Fire®: Any situation between you and a friend that results in negative feelings.

Mean-on-Purpose: When someone is intentionally unkind to someone else.

Quick Comeback: A very short word or phrase that is used when someone is Mean-on-Purpose. Quick Comebacks are designed to let the other person know that you heard/saw what they did and you’re not okay with it.

Friend-o-meter: A visual tool that assesses the health of friendships, ranging from the healthy zone to the unhealthy zone.

Friend-o-cycle: The normal cycle in a friendship that brings the friendship back to the healthy zone after experiencing a Friendship Fire. The phases of the Friend-o-cycle are: Healthy Friendship – Fire – Confront the issue – Talk-it-Out – Forgive & Forget – Closer & Stronger – Healthy Friendship…

4 Friendship Facts: A set of four facts that help us have realistic expectations in our friendships so we understand what is normal.

  1. No friendship (relationship) is perfect.
  2. Every friendship is different.
  3. Trust & Respect are the two most important qualities of a friendship.
  4. Friendships change…and that’s okay.

Red Shirt Girl and Striped Shirt Boy: Two characters that remind us about the importance of body language.

Friendship Ninja: A Friendship Ninja is someone who surrounds themselves with friends in the healthy zone of the Friend-o-meter. A Friendship Ninja is kind and friendly to everyone. A Friendship Ninja understands the 4 Friendship Facts and puts out their Friendship Fires when they ignite. A Friendship Ninja stands up for themselves and their friends. A Friendship Ninja makes new friends and understands that friendships change…and that’s okay. Above all else, a Friendship Ninja is someone you want to be friends with because they’re true to who they are!

Is your child having a rough year at school? Here are some easy ways to support them from afar.

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Is your child struggling socially? Perhaps they’re dealing with a toxic personality in their class or feeling ostracized at school.  Our curriculum gives children the skills to stand up to Mean-on-Purpose behavior using a Quick Comeback. We also teach children, starting at a young age, how to create healthy friendships. But, what else can you do as a parent? How else can you support them from home?

When your child is facing Mean-on-Purpose behavior (as we call it) at school, there’s no doubt they really need your guidance and support. Here are a few very easy ideas to help them rise above the tough stuff:

  • Plan playdates with friends who are in the healthy zone of the Friend-o-meter (so your child can deepen their connection with GREAT friends)
  • Send your child positive, uplifting notes in their lunch box (little reminders from you will help your child feel strong and give him/her a little boost during the school day)
  • Get your child working on a fun, special project (so that you can help take their focus off others and back on themself)
  • Give your child fun little challenges each morning (e.g. Today’s Challenge: To play with a new friend at recess time!) and then reward your child and celebrate when they get home
  • Continue to remind your child that they DESERVE to be treated with love & respect and to always surround themselves with friends who make them feel good!

Little things like that can help your child to overcome those challenging days at school. The key is bring more positives into their lives – so the positives outweigh the negatives – and they can get back to focusing on what brings them joy!

Written by Dana Kerford
Friendship Expert and Founder of URSTRONG