Language of Friendship Session 5: How to put out Friendship Fires

Video Glossary

Glossary of Terms

At URSTRONG, we believe it’s important to use kids’ language for kids’ problems. That’s why we have our very own, unique language of friendship. Here are some important terms that children, parents, and teachers learn in our program.

Friendship Fire®: Any situation between you and a friend that results in negative feelings.

Mean-on-Purpose: When someone is intentionally unkind to someone else.

Quick Comeback: A very short word or phrase that is used when someone is Mean-on-Purpose. Quick Comebacks are designed to let the other person know that you heard/saw what they did and you’re not okay with it.

Friend-o-meter: A visual tool that assesses the health of friendships, ranging from the healthy zone to the unhealthy zone.

Friend-o-cycle: The normal cycle in a friendship that brings the friendship back to the healthy zone after experiencing a Friendship Fire. The phases of the Friend-o-cycle are: Healthy Friendship – Fire – Confront the issue – Talk-it-Out – Forgive & Forget – Closer & Stronger – Healthy Friendship…

4 Friendship Facts: A set of four facts that help us have realistic expectations in our friendships so we understand what is normal.

  1. No friendship (relationship) is perfect.
  2. Every friendship is different.
  3. Trust & Respect are the two most important qualities of a friendship.
  4. Friendships change…and that’s okay.

Red Shirt Girl and Striped Shirt Boy: Two characters that remind us about the importance of body language.

Friendship Ninja: A Friendship Ninja is someone who surrounds themselves with friends in the healthy zone of the Friend-o-meter. A Friendship Ninja is kind and friendly to everyone. A Friendship Ninja understands the 4 Friendship Facts and puts out their Friendship Fires when they ignite. A Friendship Ninja stands up for themselves and their friends. A Friendship Ninja makes new friends and understands that friendships change…and that’s okay. Above all else, a Friendship Ninja is someone you want to be friends with because they’re true to who they are!


Aren’t friends great? They bring so many positives into our world and really enrich our lives in so many ways. Because of this, when things aren’t great with our friends, they’re really not great. The highs are high and the lows are low, unfortunately. When we encounter conflict with a friend, it consumes us. It’s hard to think about anything else. And, it’s natural that sometimes we say or do the wrong thing and just make matters worse. I’m going to teach you how to put out those Friendship Fires as we call them, so you can get your friendship back to feeling awesome.

Grown-ups, this session is all about conflict-resolution. Through some role-playing, you’re going to help the child your with feel a little more comfortable with managing those tough conversations with friends. Our goal is to give children the skills to put those Friendship Fires out in a way that respects themselves and the people around them. Let’s do it!

Your Friend,

This session introduces the children to the Friend-o-cycle, which is a visual tool that depicts the normal cycle of a healthy friendship. With a relationship centering on trust and respect, kids learn that Friendship Fires® can be put out through an open, honest conversation. They learn, step-by-step, how to Talk-it-Out so they can move beyond the conflict and let it go with a goal of keeping friendships in the healthy zone of the Friend-o-meter. This session focuses on the skills portion of managing conflict and kids get an opportunity to put their skills to practice through common scenarios.

Key Outcome

Your child will learn how to put out their Friendship Fires to get their friendship back in the healthy zone of the Friend-o-meter.

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