Language of Friendship Session 4: Healthy vs Unhealthy Friendships

Video Glossary

Glossary of Terms

At URSTRONG, we believe it’s important to use kids’ language for kids’ problems. That’s why we have our very own, unique language of friendship. Here are some important terms that children, parents, and teachers learn in our program.

Friendship Fire®: Any situation between you and a friend that results in negative feelings.

Mean-on-Purpose: When someone is intentionally unkind to someone else.

Quick Comeback: A very short word or phrase that is used when someone is Mean-on-Purpose. Quick Comebacks are designed to let the other person know that you heard/saw what they did and you’re not okay with it.

Friend-o-meter: A visual tool that assesses the health of friendships, ranging from the healthy zone to the unhealthy zone.

Friend-o-cycle: The normal cycle in a friendship that brings the friendship back to the healthy zone after experiencing a Friendship Fire. The phases of the Friend-o-cycle are: Healthy Friendship – Fire – Confront the issue – Talk-it-Out – Forgive & Forget – Closer & Stronger – Healthy Friendship…

4 Friendship Facts: A set of four facts that help us have realistic expectations in our friendships so we understand what is normal.

  1. No friendship (relationship) is perfect.
  2. Every friendship is different.
  3. Trust & Respect are the two most important qualities of a friendship.
  4. Friendships change…and that’s okay.

Red Shirt Girl and Striped Shirt Boy: Two characters that remind us about the importance of body language.

Friendship Ninja: A Friendship Ninja is someone who surrounds themselves with friends in the healthy zone of the Friend-o-meter. A Friendship Ninja is kind and friendly to everyone. A Friendship Ninja understands the 4 Friendship Facts and puts out their Friendship Fires when they ignite. A Friendship Ninja stands up for themselves and their friends. A Friendship Ninja makes new friends and understands that friendships change…and that’s okay. Above all else, a Friendship Ninja is someone you want to be friends with because they’re true to who they are!


As you probably already know, some friendships are good for us and some friendships – not so much. It’s so important to understand that friendships and relationships are a choice. You’ve gotta get picky about how you spend your time and ensure you’re setting the bar high for yourself and making choices that are good for you. This session will teach you how to tell the difference between those healthy and unhealthy friendships. We’re gonna take a look at YOUR friendships too and determine if they’re good for you or not.

Grown-ups, I found in my research that kids don’t do this naturally. They accept the good & not-so-good into their worlds. We want children, starting at a young age, asking themselves ‘ Is this friendship – is this relationship – good for me?’ so that the child your with doesn’t do this for the first time when they’re 16 years old and in a romantic relationship. We want them creating those social boundaries in their lives now…with their most intimate relationships now, which are with their friends. On that note, let’s get started.

Your Friend,

This session is focused on helping children recognize the qualities and attributes that help to create a healthy friendship, strengthening their social-awareness. Through the Friend-o-meter, a visual tool that helps children think about whether a friendship is healthy or unhealthy, students start to create social boundaries in their lives and recognize that not all relationships are good for us. This session gets kids thinking critically about their friendships, helping to paint a picture in their mind about what great friendships look like and the importance of surrounding themselves with people who have a positive impact on them.

Key Outcome

Your child will learn the difference between healthy and unhealthy friendships by using the Friend-o-meter.

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