Friendship Fires® – Bigger or Smaller?

Video Glossary

Glossary of Terms

At URSTRONG, we believe it’s important to use kids’ language for kids’ problems. That’s why we have our very own, unique language of friendship. Here are some important terms that children, parents, and teachers learn in our program.

Friendship Fire®: Any situation between you and a friend that results in negative feelings.

Mean-on-Purpose: When someone is intentionally unkind to someone else.

Quick Comeback: A very short word or phrase that is used when someone is Mean-on-Purpose. Quick Comebacks are designed to let the other person know that you heard/saw what they did and you’re not okay with it.

Friend-o-meter: A visual tool that assesses the health of friendships, ranging from the healthy zone to the unhealthy zone.

Friend-o-cycle: The normal cycle in a friendship that brings the friendship back to the healthy zone after experiencing a Friendship Fire. The phases of the Friend-o-cycle are: Healthy Friendship – Fire – Confront the issue – Talk-it-Out – Forgive & Forget – Closer & Stronger – Healthy Friendship…

4 Friendship Facts: A set of four facts that help us have realistic expectations in our friendships so we understand what is normal.

  1. No friendship (relationship) is perfect.
  2. Every friendship is different.
  3. Trust & Respect are the two most important qualities of a friendship.
  4. Friendships change…and that’s okay.

Red Shirt Girl and Striped Shirt Boy: Two characters that remind us about the importance of body language.

Friendship Ninja: A Friendship Ninja is someone who surrounds themselves with friends in the healthy zone of the Friend-o-meter. A Friendship Ninja is kind and friendly to everyone. A Friendship Ninja understands the 4 Friendship Facts and puts out their Friendship Fires when they ignite. A Friendship Ninja stands up for themselves and their friends. A Friendship Ninja makes new friends and understands that friendships change…and that’s okay. Above all else, a Friendship Ninja is someone you want to be friends with because they’re true to who they are!


It is normal to have disagreements and misunderstandings with friends. We call these Friendship Fires®.  

We teach kids Friendship Fact #1: No friendship or relationship is perfect. This means it’s normal to sometimes experience conflict in our friendships. 

Just like with real fires, there are things that you can to do to extinguish or smother a Friendship Fire®, or things that fuel the Fire and make it bigger! Sometimes kids do things to ignite the Friendship Fire or even fan the flames (that means blowing oxygen into the fire to make the flames bigger).

When our emotions overwhelm us, sometimes we forget to make the best decisions.  If we don’t make thoughtful choices when we are in the midst of a Friendship Fire®,  it can grow bigger, get out of control and spread a long way – sometimes damaging lots of relationships before it eventually burns out, just like a raging bushfire or forest fire.

We know that the most successful way to shrink and put out a Friendship Fire® is to follow URSTRONG’s steps to put out a Friendship Fire®, moving through the stages of the Friend-o-cycle. If we do it quickly, as soon as we feel or see a fire starting to spark, rather than letting the fire smoke, we have a much better chance of putting the fire all the way out!

Key Outcome

Your students will learn to make thoughtful choices to help make a Friendship Fire® smaller.

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