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For the Love of Pizza!

Activity Glossary

Glossary of Terms

At URSTRONG, we believe it’s important to use kids’ language for kids’ problems. That’s why we have our very own, unique language of friendship. Here are some important terms that children, parents, and teachers learn in our program.

Friendship Fire®: Any situation between you and a friend that results in negative feelings.

Mean-on-Purpose: When someone is intentionally unkind to someone else.

Quick Comeback: A very short word or phrase that is used when someone is Mean-on-Purpose. Quick Comebacks are designed to let the other person know that you heard/saw what they did and you’re not okay with it.

Friend-o-meter: A visual tool that assesses the health of friendships, ranging from the healthy zone to the unhealthy zone.

Friend-o-cycle: The normal cycle in a friendship that brings the friendship back to the healthy zone after experiencing a Friendship Fire. The phases of the Friend-o-cycle are: Healthy Friendship – Fire – Confront the issue – Talk-it-Out – Forgive & Forget – Closer & Stronger – Healthy Friendship…

4 Friendship Facts: A set of four facts that help us have realistic expectations in our friendships so we understand what is normal.

  1. No friendship (relationship) is perfect.
  2. Every friendship is different.
  3. Trust & Respect are the two most important qualities of a friendship.
  4. Friendships change…and that’s okay.

Red Shirt Girl and Striped Shirt Boy: Two characters that remind us about the importance of body language.

Friendship Ninja: A Friendship Ninja is someone who surrounds themselves with friends in the healthy zone of the Friend-o-meter. A Friendship Ninja is kind and friendly to everyone. A Friendship Ninja understands the 4 Friendship Facts and puts out their Friendship Fires when they ignite. A Friendship Ninja stands up for themselves and their friends. A Friendship Ninja makes new friends and understands that friendships change…and that’s okay. Above all else, a Friendship Ninja is someone you want to be friends with because they’re true to who they are!

“Just ignore it!” is one of the worst things that you can say when your child is dealing with a Friendship Fire®! Like pizza, it’s almost impossible. 

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Objective

Bear with me a second while I let your parents in on a little secret. Parents, are you ready for this? Brace yourself. Here it comes… Your child probably doesn’t tell you everything! There, I said it. (That wasn’t so bad, right!?) The reality is kids do not often tell their parents if they’ve had a Friendship Fire® with a friend, or they’re dealing with an up-and-down friend, or they’re having trouble making friends.

So, why do kids keep this stuff on the down-low? Well, there are 4 main reasons:

  1. Your child is worried you’re going to freak out. You might call the other kids parents,  you might call the school, you might say the wrong things, you might cry, you might say “I knew that kid wasn’t good for you!”  Basically, you might say and do all the wrong things and just make matters worse.
  2. Your child is embarrassed. They want you to think they’re cool and popular and awesome. Your child wants to make you proud!  (Now would be a good time to tell your child how proud you are and why!)
  3. Your child knows it sounds silly. Kids are totally aware that sometimes the things they’re upset or annoyed about aren’t a big deal, but they can’t shake it. When they think about telling an adult, they think parents + teachers won’t get it!
  4. Your child is so tuned in to you. They know if you’re stressed out or have a lot on your plate right now and they don’t want to add to your pile by unloading their friendship drama on you. They also know it will upset you – so they protect you from that.

Kids don’t tell their parents everything…nor should they! We all crave a little privacy from time to time.  Wouldn’t it be great, however, if your child could view you as a helpful resource and see you as someone they could talk to!? Well, let’s get on that!

 

Key Outcome

You & your child will articulate the best ways you can help each other when your child is experiencing difficult friendship issues.

Materials

Instructions

Sometimes we don’t always know the best way to help each other out! We aren’t miracle-workers or mind-readers, so let’s cut the cheese (oops, bad choice of words!) and tell each other what we need. Okay?

Using the For the Love of Pizza Activity Sheet, complete the sentences by writing or saying at least three things the other person can do to help navigate the world of friendships and three things you’d prefer they didn’t do! Be totally honest and, for the love of pizza, don’t respond by saying, “But I already do that!” or, “Are you nuts? There’s no way I’m doing that!” Turn this into a discussion and create a little plan about how you can help one another!

 

 

Next Steps

Order Pizza…obviously! 🙂