F101 Session 7: How to Take Control & Feel Heard

Video Glossary

Glossary of Terms

At URSTRONG, we believe it’s important to use kids’ language for kids’ problems. That’s why we have our very own, unique language of friendship. Here are some important terms that children, parents, and teachers learn in our program.

Friendship Fire®: Any situation between you and a friend that results in negative feelings.

Mean-on-Purpose: When someone is intentionally unkind to someone else.

Quick Comeback: A very short word or phrase that is used when someone is Mean-on-Purpose. Quick Comebacks are designed to let the other person know that you heard/saw what they did and you’re not okay with it.

Friend-o-meter: A visual tool that assesses the health of friendships, ranging from the healthy zone to the unhealthy zone.

Friend-o-cycle: The normal cycle in a friendship that brings the friendship back to the healthy zone after experiencing a Friendship Fire. The phases of the Friend-o-cycle are: Healthy Friendship – Fire – Confront the issue – Talk-it-Out – Forgive & Forget – Closer & Stronger – Healthy Friendship…

4 Friendship Facts: A set of four facts that help us have realistic expectations in our friendships so we understand what is normal.

  1. No friendship (relationship) is perfect.
  2. Every friendship is different.
  3. Trust & Respect are the two most important qualities of a friendship.
  4. Friendships change…and that’s okay.

Red Shirt Girl and Striped Shirt Boy: Two characters that remind us about the importance of body language.

Friendship Ninja: A Friendship Ninja is someone who surrounds themselves with friends in the healthy zone of the Friend-o-meter. A Friendship Ninja is kind and friendly to everyone. A Friendship Ninja understands the 4 Friendship Facts and puts out their Friendship Fires when they ignite. A Friendship Ninja stands up for themselves and their friends. A Friendship Ninja makes new friends and understands that friendships change…and that’s okay. Above all else, a Friendship Ninja is someone you want to be friends with because they’re true to who they are!


A key philosophy embedded in our program is the importance of using kids’ language for kids’ problems. Rather than talking about words like “anxiety” or “stress”, we use the word “butterflies” – a friendlier term that kids can connect with. This session helps students take control of butterflies they feel inside so they feel more in control of their emotions.

This session also gets students talking about those fictional stories they sometimes create in their mind. They get a chance to put a voice to what they are feeling by describing their butterflies and sharing their stories. With the understanding that, “People start to heal the moment they feel heard,” students are also taught how to be active, empathetic listeners – an important attribute in a friend.

Key Outcome

  • Students will recognize that feeling butterflies (e.g. anxiety) is normal.
  • Students will be able to categorize their butterflies into ones they can control versus ones they cannot control. With the butterflies they cannot control, students will learn the importance of releasing them. With the butterflies they can control, students will be able to make a plan for each one to tame it and feel more in control.
  • Students will be able to describe the ‘Worse Case Scenario’ technique for managing butterflies.
  • Students will be able to differentiate between stories they made up versus what’s real and describe the importance of putting a stop to those ‘Movies in our Mind’.
  • Students will be able to demonstrate active listening.
  • Students will share their stories and put a voice to how they are feeling.
  • Through the Friendology Project (sharing highs & lows with their family), students will open up the lines of communication with their family and recognize that even though we all have good days and bad days, there is something positive in every day!

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