F101 Session 5: How to be a Friendship Ninja

Video Glossary

Glossary of Terms

At URSTRONG, we believe it’s important to use kids’ language for kids’ problems. That’s why we have our very own, unique language of friendship. Here are some important terms that children, parents, and teachers learn in our program.

Friendship Fire®: Any situation between you and a friend that results in negative feelings.

Mean-on-Purpose: When someone is intentionally unkind to someone else.

Quick Comeback: A very short word or phrase that is used when someone is Mean-on-Purpose. Quick Comebacks are designed to let the other person know that you heard/saw what they did and you’re not okay with it.

Friend-o-meter: A visual tool that assesses the health of friendships, ranging from the healthy zone to the unhealthy zone.

Friend-o-cycle: The normal cycle in a friendship that brings the friendship back to the healthy zone after experiencing a Friendship Fire. The phases of the Friend-o-cycle are: Healthy Friendship – Fire – Confront the issue – Talk-it-Out – Forgive & Forget – Closer & Stronger – Healthy Friendship…

4 Friendship Facts: A set of four facts that help us have realistic expectations in our friendships so we understand what is normal.

  1. No friendship (relationship) is perfect.
  2. Every friendship is different.
  3. Trust & Respect are the two most important qualities of a friendship.
  4. Friendships change…and that’s okay.

Red Shirt Girl and Striped Shirt Boy: Two characters that remind us about the importance of body language.

Friendship Ninja: A Friendship Ninja is someone who surrounds themselves with friends in the healthy zone of the Friend-o-meter. A Friendship Ninja is kind and friendly to everyone. A Friendship Ninja understands the 4 Friendship Facts and puts out their Friendship Fires when they ignite. A Friendship Ninja stands up for themselves and their friends. A Friendship Ninja makes new friends and understands that friendships change…and that’s okay. Above all else, a Friendship Ninja is someone you want to be friends with because they’re true to who they are!


This session helps students recognize the difference between normal conflict (we call Friendship Fires®) and Mean-on-Purpose behavior. The word “bullying” is so often misused, confusing for kids, and leads them to label other children as “bullies.” Instead, our program focuses on addressing behavior that is intentionally mean (we call Mean-on-Purpose) using a Quick Comeback. This short statement, said in a strong voice (not aggressive!), lets the other person know their Mean-on-Purpose behavior is not okay. Students are then taught to walk away and report the situation to an adult. Like. A. Ninja.

Research shows that consistently providing a negative consequence to this kind of behavior reduces the likelihood that it will happen again and does not allow the child to get away with treating someone poorly. Tweenaged children want to be liked and want to get along with one another. When they stand up to Mean-on-Purpose behavior, they guide everyone towards kindness and create a safe, caring environment that holds kids accountable.

Key Outcome

  • Students will be able to identify the difference between a Friendship Fire® and Mean-on-Purpose behavior.
  • Students will be able to describe what a Quick Comeback is and name their own Quick Comeback.
  • Students will be able to demonstrate how to say a Quick Comeback, using a strong voice, and what to do if the person has a negative reaction to the conversation.
  • Students will be able to report a situation, expressing just the facts, to an adult.
  • Through the Friendology Project (finding a mantra), students will be able to describe their own power statement and express how positive self-talk impacts their confidence.

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